Raking around in the attic I found this little green and white packet:

Before you go crazy imagining the scenario in which I walked away with this little packet, let me put your mind at ease.  A friend of mine who works in internal communications, was given this partly as an illustration of how vital accurate translation is in the world of FMCG; but mainly for a laugh.

The back of the packet explains things in full. I have replicated the exact text:

HORAD CREAM: The cream for men who have problem giving your partmer long and long … plea-sure just slightly apply the cream to your penis, the herb ingredients from Thibet mountains would extend your long lovely hours and won’t do no harm to your beloved rod.

DIRECTION: Slightly apply “HORAD” round your penis leave the cream pervormed about 15-20 min-utes. Then Clean with eater before having sex.