Social Faux Pas number 1:

Me: Are you the chap I need to see about getting blue roll from stores?

Construction Guy: No. That’s Ian

M: Which one is Ian? The younger one?

CG: Thanks a lot. Well, yes Ian is a couple of years younger than me.

M: *fumbles* I didn’t mean…so who are you?

CG: Well they call me Thunder.

M: *?*

M: Is Ian the taller one?

CG: So I am short and old to you then?

M: It’s ok. I’m not desperate for the blue roll.

Social faux pas number 2:

Me: Oh you’re not together?

Pregnant Viewer: No. I am just helping him find the best apartment.

M: Well this is a nice apartment however if you do have a bigger budget, we can find you a larger and much more central apartment.

Man Viewer: Oh, maybe I should spend a bit more. I could go to £1100 a month.

M: I know a fabulous mews apartment in Scotland Street with a garage, three bedrooms …

PV: Fabulous! And when he is away, I can use his apartment for parties and trips to Edinburgh for shopping!

M: Well, not too many parties in your condition!

PV: What condition?

M: Your baby.

PV: I’m not pregnant.


M: Let me call the office and see if Scotland Street is still available…